Will You Divorce Me?

Author: Jasem Copyright © 2008
Blog: www.extension5151.wordpress.com
Location: Kuwait

I think one of the major attributes to the society that we are witnessing with our own eyes today is the product of a broken Kuwaiti family. I have heard once that the divorce rate in Kuwait has reached the 60 plus percentile levels. Even if that number was wrong or was in line with the divorce rate, for instance, in the U.S. (51%), it is still an insane number. Just think of it, the chances of getting divorced in 2007 is so high that it’s no longer a calculated process or a flip of a coin where the chances are 50/50. This is where stats get really serious.

I think, when it comes to this society, it has to directly do with the way we are raised and with the kind of civil decay we are witnessing. I am in a constant mind-search trying to make sense of everything; I guess I was born this way, and trust me, I won’t stop until I reach a conclusion that I can really believe in which would make me content. The one thing that mind-boggles me is: Why is there such a high divorce rate in Kuwait? Mind you, these are only the declared divorces. There are so many cases of multiple wives, or emotional divorces (parents sleeping in separate beds). Also, it’s not as easy as in the western world for women to get divorced in Kuwait. The process can get really ugly. I’m sure many of you know exactly what I mean. Which means, if you can calculate the declared divorces, give the women who want out a chance, and add in the emotional divorces, you’ll have a divorce rate that is at a socially dangerous range. And, it is no longer a matter only to be discussed between people sitting and having a cup of coffee.

So, I propose this as one of the main catalysts that is fueling the problem. I see all around Kuwait lobbyists trying to segregate women and men from schools, trying to segregate classes at the university level and at every possible way they can get their hands on. What they have forgotten is the essence of every successful marriage which is communication. What we hear a lot is a household of a very aggressive or demeaning husband who cares not to communicate but cares only to demand what he thinks as his righteous deeds from his wife. The wife becomes not a companion, a friend, or a mother (in its purest sense), but she becomes ‘the wife,’ a term used commonly between men in this society.

You see, when you segregate men from women at such a young age (middle to high school), you are taking away the true essence of teaching a boy and girl how to communicate with one another. Enter the college phase, when boys and girls are in touch with their emotional side, remove that too and you find men driving down on Gulf Road like wolves looking for their pretties in the midst of the coldest winters. It is so sad.

Let me ask you this question: If you want to segregate men from middle to high school and all throughout college but want them to get along well at work and get married, do you think you are giving our society the chance to move on and create happy families and bonds that are truly unbreakable? What a shame!

I’m going to talk too much about politics that I promised myself I wouldn’t do as an agenda to starting a blog. But, I’ll tell you what. I drove today, minding my own business on the streets, and one car after another was filled with boys in their twenties driving like idiots, acting like animals, and showing no regard to anyone on the streets. The cause was that a few girls were just driving home from a lovely Kuwaiti morning outing.

Once called “the Pearl of the Middle East,” Kuwait now brings tears to my eyes.