False Employment

Author: Hadija Copyright © 2008
Location: Kuwait

What is a maid or a nanny? What are their job requirements? They are individuals hired to perform certain duties, such as, house cleaning, washing and ironing, cooking, vacuuming, and child care. Each one is hired for a certain job. Well, that is the way it should be!

Do you know that many of these maids and nannies are brought to Kuwait on false pretenses? They are told that they will be working in hospitals, restaurants, salons, schools and other places, but when they arrive to Kuwait, they are employed as nannies or house maids.

They are not qualified for these jobs. They, usually, lack experience and many have never operated a washer, dryer, microwave, gas stove, iron, or any electrical appliance, or cared for children. Yet, they are forced to learn these tasks in a very short time. This is very stressful for a person who has little or no experience in this field of work, and one who has no interest in doing this type of job.

Whenever I read an article about a maid harming a child or children, harming herself, or being harmed by her employer, I ask myself who is at fault. Does the blame fall on the employer, the maids, or the governments of each country? I have spoken to many maids and nannies over the years, and found that a great number of them have so many regrets. They feel ashamed of their government, and they feel abandoned. Some feel that they have to make many mistakes, so that the employer will send them back to the labor office, and others are so stressed out that they usually take more drastic measures.

Does this sound wrong to you? Should people have to live like this? These women have rights. They have families waiting for them in their country. They have fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, husbands, and children who depend on them. They come here to earn a little money to send to their families so that their children can get an education. They send money home to take care of their fathers and mothers.

In Islam, we should be kind, generous, and treat people the way we would like to be treated. If an individual is hired for a certain job, and brought to Kuwait to work, they should work in the field in which they are trained. And, we should keep in mind that these individuals are human, too. Regardless of the work they are hired to do, they need rest, food and plenty of sleep so that they can perform their jobs well. They need training before coming to this country to be employed as a maid or nanny. Their rights should be secured, before they leave their country. And, if they are hired to work in a hospital, school, or restaurant, then, that is what they should be doing, as long as they have the qualifications.

Take a moment and think about this: What if your child or other family members had to work in another country? How would you want the people in that country to treat them? It’s been said, “What goes around, comes around.” So, think about it! Are you being fair to your employees?

Treat others the way you would like to be treated. May Allah show us guidance each and everyday.

To Wear the Hajab or Not?

Author: Hadija Copyright © 2008
Location: Kuwait

When I first came to Kuwait, I was approached many times, and was asked the same question, over and over: “When do you think you will wear the hajab?” My reply was always the same: “I will wear the hajab when Allah gives me a sign to wear it.”

I didn’t want to make the same mistake that many women have made in the past. They were forced to wear it by their parents or husbands and not because it was ordained by Allah, and eventually, they would remove it, or be so miserable that they wouldn’t wear it in the correct manner. I finally wore the hajab, six years later. I can say, with confidence, that I put it on for all the right reasons. And I did get a sign from Allah, to wear the hajab. A strong, overwhelming feeling consumed me. The more I fought this feeling, the stronger it became.

I knew it was time to cover. So, I discussed it with my sister-in-law and asked her to show me how to wear it correctly. And when I put it on, it felt so natural. It has been four years since I began wearing the hajab, and it still feels comfortable. It is a part of me. And I am so glad that I waited until the right time.

This is my story, and I am not implying that all women should wait until they get a sign from Allah, before they cover their heads. This decision is between you, your family and Allah. But, I will add a comment or two. I have heard many people say to their daughters, “You are a Muslim and it is your duty to wear the hajab. You must cover yourself from the eyes of strangers because it is a big sin if you do not perform this duty.” Well, let me say to those who seem to be so concerned about the woman’s head being covered, but not so concerned about the other Islamic duties. Does the hajab prevent the woman and her children from being physically and verbally abused by her husband? Does the hajab prevent people (men and women) from performing charity? Does the hajab prevent maids, drivers and servants from being abused? And what about the unpaid wages of these employees and other low wage earners here in Kuwait, who are striking just to get what is owed to them? And do the greedy and selfish people, who are hoarding their money and failing to spend on their family, think that the hajab will save them from Allah’s punishment? And I can go on and on, but I think you get the idea.

As Muslims, we have many duties and responsibilities, and wearing the hajab is only a part of these duties. There are many women in Kuwait who do not wear the hajab, but they are decent women who perform their Islamic duties. And there are some women who do wear the hajab, but do not perform their duties in the correct manner, or at all. So, which one of these groups is performing the duties in the correct manner? If the hajab is the only thing that will save the Muslim from Allah’s punishment, maybe men should be wearing it, as well. It is not correct to assume that an uncovered woman is indecent, and that a covered woman is. Allah is the judge of all of us, and he knows all, hears all, and sees all. Whether you wear the hajab or not has no relevance to how well an individual performs his or her Islamic duties. As for myself, I know that I am not perfect, but I am comfortable in what I am doing.

It’s Time to Take Action: a Cry for Justice

As first published to the editor in Kuwait Times on May 21, 2007
Author: Hadija Copyright © 2008
Location: Kuwait

Sir,

    According to Islamic law, men are permitted to marry up to four wives, as long as they can provide for them equally and be fair to them all. I think some men in Kuwait have forgotten that law and need to be reminded. My husband has married three and has forgotten the Islamic law. He divorced the first one, married me, and after many years of marriage, he brings a third wife. His children from the first marriage suffered financial loss and hardship, and my children and I suffered financial loss and hardship, and now, we are suffering even more, while he is entertaining himself in another marriage. And he cannot afford this wife, and it is causing a big problem in our lives. We are currently going through divorce, and it is difficult on the children. I am the one pursuing the divorce, because I feel that this man will not settle down, and I want to at least ensure that my children have some financial support, even if it is through the court.

    A law needs to be passed, stating that if a man wants to marry a second or third wife, he must first prove that he can financially support both households, with no hardship on either side. And he must be forced to pay for his children until they complete university and are employed. And if he fails to pay support for the children, the court could pay the wife/wives the support and then the man should have to pay the court the amount owed, or face a penalty. I think these laws will ensure the security of the women and children of Kuwait and let these men realize that they will be held responsible for their actions.

    And, if the man leaves the country and gets married, without the knowledge of his wife/wives or the court, than he should face a strong penalty from the court. We are tired of being thrown away like last week’s garbage. We have our dignity and pride, and the men should not be allowed to do this to us so freely and openly. We are Islamic people, and we have Islamic rights, but some men are failing to follow the correct path.

    I hope that someone reads this and takes action to resolve this matter. It is becoming an epidemic in Kuwait and the divorce rate is soaring. Please help the women and children in Kuwait. We need your support, so please pass the laws to stop these men from destroying families. Force them to take responsibility for their family/families.

A wife and mother for wives and mothers in Kuwait