A Postmodern Invitation: Modernity Is a Holy Practical Joke

Author: Devil Finch Copyright © 2008
Blog: www.devilfinch.blogspot.com
Location: Kuwait

What good has modernity done for us? Have we, humans, become more civilized? Modernity has helped us to invent cures for different diseases, but it has also created Cancer, HIV, Bird Flu, Mad Cow’s Disease and tragically failed to cure Bo lowyooh and Khaz Baz.

Modernity helped us beat distance with cars, trains, and airplanes, but it screwed the planet from behind, and within 2-3 generations, Planet Earth will be Planet Wasteland. Trust me, it won’t be as pretty as T.S. Elliot’s poem, and you are not going to be driving your Cayenne or sailing your yacht to anywhere nice.

Modern thinkers created democracy and human rights. Hoooorraaay … All humans will live in justice. But wait, the presumably most democratic country, and the world’s claimed human rights’ defender is the US, and it has caused only recently more death and destruction than the bad deeds achieved by Bin Laden, Stalin, Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Dr. Evil, Grandayzar, Mr. Freez, Al-Hajjaj, Khomainy, Nabba6at Bosamra and Um 9achmat 7ammod, all combined.

You might say Americans are fakes, and Europeans are for real. Modernity is the product of Europe a9lan - you might say this while toying with your PowerBook- and if one is looking for democracy, one should be talking about Europe. Come on guys. We all know it. Europe still stinks with racism (no generalization meant here). The Jews learned that before us, and from a quick look at European governments’ new policies concerning Muslims in their countries and the statements’ of Pope Abendectictactoc XIV, I think another Holocaust (Yes, it’s a Spa) is going to take place in Europe. Muslims will be invited there for a warm dialogue of civilizations.

Back to modernity. Yes, modern thinkers came up with feminism (Yaaaaaay). Chicks now can kick boys’ asses with some smart, sassy talk about how uncivilized men seek to oppress women and how chicks should get up and stand up to make men lie on their bellies while having sex with their female partners. Some men liked the idea …why not? Feminism is sexy for some men because they would like to try how it feels to be spanked.

Unfortunately, 13% of females, who came up with the idea and fostered it, were too high to implement it. 25% were jealous because the idea was not theirs, so they decided to dub feminists “Godless Bitches.” 38% were married and were too busy raising their kids and making sure that their husbands were not cheating on them. 29% are still arguing about the definition of feminism (I actually heard a nice lady saying that feminism is the religion for HM Madonna’s worshippers), and 80% are busy looking for Mr. Whoever, who will make them hate sex and metamorphose into heartless Femi-nazis.

Modernism, modernity, Mo6ern, Mo-dren-dren (Tarrik or dig heren), call it whatever you want. It’s a fucking bad practical joke (Ashkara Dagga). If we are now modern creatures living a modern life with better standards and more civilized concepts and relationships, how come men still dominate every fucking aspect of this world? Let’s examine the mating system in modern life as it is the most basic male-female relationship.

From my personal experience (nothing scientific), I know that many women - both eastern and western- feel more attracted to stronger men. Many of them also would like to see their men’s power/authority practiced in their relationships as proof of this claimed power. Why?

Jumping from personal experience to science, I’d like to mention that stronger male mammals mate with more females. In more common words, stronger male mammals get laid more often. That had been scientifically proven as I was told in an ‘animal behavior’ class back in college.

Biologists also say that female mammals are more attracted to stronger males because they can provide them with security/protection, especially when they’re parenting. One strategy practiced by male mammals to attract females is bluffing. Several studies have revealed that male mammals with better bluffing skills get more pu#*y than others, which tells me that females do buy into the stupid male bluffing.

Moreover, according to uncle Darwin, humans are mammals. I’m convinced that many women (no generalization being made) feel safer when their partners push them around. As I earlier said, it is proof -be it real or false- of their men’s power and ability to protect them and their kids. Let me make another personal note: In all of the gay/lesbian couples I encountered during my college years, one of the partners would be the bossy/strong and the other partner enjoyed being pushed around. Now, that tells me something about relationship-dynamics in our civilized era.

You may plausibly argue that we are not mere mammals, but we are unique, articulate human beings who create laws and negotiate to achieve peace. I would argue back that this is an illusion. According to a statistic published in the Sept./Oct. 2006 issue of Foreign Affairs Journal (I’m not making this up - not this one.), the latest century was the bloodiest ever. Hulaku’s era sounds like a fairy tale, compared to the warfare and killings we, human beings, have committed during our “civilized” era.

Wake up people. Grass is more comfortable than asphalt and concrete. The sky is more spectacular than the ceiling in San Lorenzo’s Church. Let’s get naked and run back to the forest. Let’s start all over. We might find a nicer path.

That’s an honest romantic invitation to postmodernism that you shouldn’t take seriously.