Valentine’s Day Crap

Author: Tantalize Copyright © 2008Location: Kuwait

Valentine’s Day is approaching. Stores are intelligently displaying multitudes of ornamented white, to pink, to red flowers and merchandise to catch the gullible consumer’s eye and deep pockets. From birds to bears to other stupid cupids will be hanging from the fore fronts of stores waiting for female monetary consumption. Men are the ones who will be paying of course, while women shadow their own desires behind expectations of receiving whatever they want. Ultimately, men become shadows as women have their whims aerobicized.

 

Florists have hiked up prices, set out the large teddy bears as bate while the most expensive bouquets are being pampered for the female craze of seeking affection through intricate and floral designs. Men are earthly taxed for a holiday that has nothing to do with Islam or Kuwaiti traditions, and a ritual which is over-animated all to appease and validate female emotions. It’s like watching a spectator sport being cunningly overrun and underhandedly swindled by women, for women, while gradually sapping out a man’s trueness as something just and as equal.

 

Hallmark and the rest of the gang of attention-grabbing and artistically-quoted cards are on high alert to consume and assume a new identity whenever they will be bought to make love to a woman’s heart. Armies of chocolate boxes are flaunted too. This is a time for women to be seduced emotionally and mentally chocolated without fearing an over intake of calories of guilt. Men will purchase them, of course, because most of their words aren’t languid, and fluid, and caressing enough to speak into the fairytale reality that many women would like to hear through card cliches. So, the cards and aphrodisiac chocolate are men’s temporary substitute and recess for channeling what women love to adore. One can actually compare it to swinging partners for a day since everything is heightened through other people’s words, decorations, and food intake all because the man couldn’t spit out the necessary words to his beloved the other days of the year.

 

The restaurants have made special arrangements for private parties when in fact it’s open to the public, but tickets to get in are hyperbolized at incredible prices. Why? The food is the same; same fried or frozen western crap that is microwaved and decorated on plates to seem fresh and worthy of such lofty deception. The couples are fooled by candle light to give an air of romance when little do most people know that “romance” comes from “Roman” and later the Romance Period in England where “romance” meant a transcendence of mind, not emotions. The men dish out the presents while rarely receiving as much in turn. The women’s egos are super-boosted, but it doesn’t necessitate an easy lay for the men. No, no, no. It’s like a woman’s day of revenge for all of the other days of the year that her man has forgotten to pay close and magnified attention to her narcissism and Barbie-doll whims. The single women in the background, meanwhile, will all be bitching about how they don’t need men in their lives when in reality they envy the couples surrounding them. The single men watching the single women watching the couples just want to get into their pants as fast as possible with the least expense needed. And since alcohol is illegal in Kuwait, a flock of mostly male ridden cars will be on their way to the chalets soon after the females’ curfews have been reached. At the chalets, the bottles of Johnny and Smirnoff for a worthy KD50 a pop are open to rejoice to each other’s manhood of temporary defeat. The men too get their Valentine’s Day uplift through drunkenness all because of a curse Valentine planted generations ago to have made women swoon over into a modern tradition.

 

If the “V” in Valentine’s Day could stand for something else, it would be “victory” for women for the day and “vaginated,” for the men. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.