Sexdentity
Posted by Kaleidoscope on September 28, 2007
Blog: No Blog Location: Kuwait
Homo-, bi-, and trans-sexuality are rampant in Kuwait. And they are incessantly growing. But the question is: Why? Islamic segregation, like in schools, could be part of the reason. Genetics could be another, for the Arab and Islamic culture and tradition have been notorious for cultivating and secretly nurturing parasexuality (as I like to call it) for centuries. Parasexuality stems from the Latin derivative prefix to mean “beyond” with that of “sexuality.” It’s beyond the heterosexuality which many of us may see as normal.
How many homosexual and bisexual men and women do we all know who aren’t content with being classified as either anymore? How many more heterosexuals refuse to admit it? Men are quickly becoming effeminate, and in turn, women are becoming more rigid and rugged; or too Barbie soft. Is this connected to the early segregation, where many later on become attached to their earlier explorations instead of with heterosexuality? Are we that disenfranchised with natural bonding anymore? Or, has it become too dull and irrespective of our will to explore and discover new terrains of pleasure through sex AND identity? Are we subconsciously redefining what ‘natural’ may be? Is sex becoming our primary identity; sexdentity?
The next level of sexuality after homo-/bisexuality is trans-sexuality. (See photo) It’s as if it is on a spiritual and hierarchal march towards heavenly pleasure. Sexually shifting. Transgendering. It’s shifting an original gender into another. It’s taking, for example, a man who fully, physiologically, and, of course, surgically, alters into a woman. That’s fresh breasts, vagina, and a continuous cocktail of hormone injections for those of you not in the know. And then, dating a heterosexual woman. Sometimes even a bisexual man or woman. If not a transgender. (No, no! That would be too competitive!). In between the two, one identity is lost while another is gained; however, the molding seems to still be caught between both. And more often than none, it is neither lost nor found. Would that entail asexuality as the next step?
Nevertheless, if parasexuality continues with such force as it is now in the Gulf, would it not then be the norm, while heterosexuality is sidelined? In an age of high-tech and uncompromising change, self-identity is struggling in tandem with sexual awareness. Struggling between fighting routine with the unknown. Between temporary addictions and vacations into sensual pleasure. Between social fear and individual limitlessness. Between the routine of slowly dying as we are living and the beautiful chaos of living without consequence.
Could all this also be tied to the sadomasochistic desire to challenge social and traditional taboos? Challenge Self with that of societal? Always challenge in order to ultimately taunt ourselves? We may like to fuck with things, but the thrill maybe greater when we get fucked with what we fuck with. Sadism + masochism = the urge to hurt or overpower others through such vices as sex, and the desire to get hurt and then invaded and pillaged. In cyclical consistent formation. Master and servant. And eventually, servant and master; hence, homo effeminate men who are in the receiving end, who love to suck and get fucked, compared to the masculine bi-men who are mostly in the giving end. Eventually the man-handling masculine submits due to losing power after asserting too much of the same bland thing. Over and underpowering. The prosecutor and confessioner: confessioner and then prosecutor. Through submission and bottoming, power resurfaces to climb only to be suppressed once again. And inverted. It’s the Myth of Sisyphus. Again and again.
September 29, 2007 at 5:08 am
Allah la yableeenaaa!
September 29, 2007 at 12:13 pm
OFFTOPIC: The only thing that interested me in the topic is your use of words, They lure a reader in. Good Job!
Besides, I dont care about another person’s choiice of sexuality because it is a personal matter. Yes, I am against it, but I dont judge..you know?
October 2, 2007 at 11:28 am
My main believe is that these people they tried all kind of pleasure and they want something different that would make people notice them or not. They are looking for a change. This is what i realized after having three gays and one lesbian in my class.. and living on the street of gays.
October 5, 2007 at 3:03 am
I think this goes all further than just sexuality its also about “desire to challenge social and traditional taboos” as you’ve phrased it. There is so much pressure on everyone in the Middle East to conform to and abide by traditional gender roles you’re going to have a kind of explosion, aren’t you? Homosexuality has been around long before any of us, it’s only a startle because we are such a closed society where you can do anything in private but not in public, but who wants to live like that long-term it creates mental issues because ThAT is what is unhealthy, the inability to express who you are and be who you are, whether we all like it or not.
And besides, maybe an internal state or vision of ‘transgenderedness’ isn’t such a bad thing, you know? Maybe it would breed more equity between the sexes in the long term, God only knows we need it. It’s not as if other societies haven’t gone through the same phenomenon, check out the history of the USA over the last 30-50 years.
October 6, 2007 at 11:14 am
Blue Dress: Could you have explained why you think so? Details matter. Thanks.
Phoenix: Thanks for the compliment. And your writing is inspiring for someone so young. Yes sexuality is a choice and I did not (pre)judge anyone concerning their sexual-orientation. Everyone is free to choose what they like. I just wanted to manifest and debate such a phenomenon.
Judy Abbott: I didn’t know it could be that much/many. Thanks for sharing.
Harmonie22: I respect and thank you for your views. They are very welcomed. In the post, I was trying to pinpoint the causes of why such a small (and closed) country has such a large following of non-heterosexuality. That is why I posed so many questions. I wanted feedback from different angles. It’s also a touchy subject because we rarely open and tackle it up so bluntly. And yes I know about the American recent history in relation to this.
The most prevalent answer seems to be what Judy Abbott stated. It’s similar to why many people try out recreational drugs; not because of depression but more for its pleasure.
October 16, 2007 at 12:09 am
Hello..I am new to this blog, I haven’t even read past a few entries. I am not a novice towards the kuwaity blog scene, I do know it exists, however I have never tried to delve into that world any more than I have to. But then I read yours.
I know why I am so reluctant to read kuwaity blogs.. I am not afraid to decipher my own psyche…and I always come to this same conclusion. You’re obviously older than I am, more experienced…your views are very parallel to what I and many others in Kuwait are experiencing. You’re extremely eloquent and that has kept me riveted during the few entries that I read…but…As I keep going, as I keep reading, it feels like there’s something pressing hard on my ribcage…I don’t mean anything, I don’t want to offend you, I love the way you write. I haven’t read anything written by a fellow kuwaity that resembles your writing. Its like poetry. The words are very powerful, sometimes they feel detached, and jaded. Your insights into the male mind were very …insightful…
We’re living the same life, I am seeing the same things you’re watching, I feel the same way you do about certain things, but you’re showing me a world very much hidden from me. I know it exists. After reading, I am certain it exists. But it was never spelled out like that. Its hard not to feel cynical, and that’s what feels like pressing on my ribcage.
October 19, 2007 at 10:50 am
Shaih: Thank you so very much for your candidness. It’s highly appreciated. Your comment in itself was a delight to read: amusing. You may not be oblivious to what is around you as it is clear in how you have verbally laid out your own perceptions.
We as Kuwaitis have rarely been raised to realize that truths can be ugly but necessary for our own self-development, and that is what I think we need more of these days, instead of hiding behind disproportioned personalities bent on traditions and a culture insufficient to handle consistent change.
Maybe you should think of writing something for Kaleidoscope.
October 19, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Shaih sounds very eloquent and interesting.
October 19, 2007 at 11:33 pm
I understand why you might find it amusing, hell I am cringing right now at how…vulnerable I sounded. I am not oblivious to the happenings behind closed doors, per say, but I am kind of…sort of…clueless to the extent/mechanics of such things in Kuwait, my own backyard.
I know I am taking a very personal stance, which isn’t healthy, but…I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like I am handing you a tightly wrapped, politically incorrect reply, signed hypocrite.
See, I don’t very much mind the traditions or the culture. Traditions aren’t shackles binding me in place, my culture isn’t constricting my accomplishments, and the voices of my past generations aren’t loud enough to block the flow of my thoughts. I realize I am reacting strongly to the truths of your entries because I was very much cocooned from them.
I would sign this hypocrite, because my favorite show is rated NC17 and yet I am shocked at half the things written in this blog. I am not saying that’s bad, no no…just to me …. if its ‘in my own backyard’, its something new all together. I don’t mind the kept up closed knit feel to my society, because it kept me safe. I am no rebel. I am not oblivious, not stupid, just unaware to the extent of the decay that’s going on. If I don’t know about it, then I wouldn’t have to feel so helpless, like I do now.
[I just realized, I am not trying to point fingers. I've bookmarked this blog… it feels like a crush, I check on it everyday. And I don’t think anyone would want to read anything I'd write, because I'd purposely write something uplifting…like zain's commercial. It’s a guilty pleasure, I smile everytime I hear Omar Sharifs voice.]
Thanks Jewaira, that was sweet.
February 2, 2008 at 9:07 pm
In the future, our children will be the one’s who will utimately pay the price for such changes taken place in the society, regarding sex-change. Think for a moment, your son wants to get married, and he has already found the woman he wants to marry, regardless of how you feel. You want to check out her family history, or criminal record, but he refuses, on the grounds that you are invading her privacy. So, eventually, you back down. They get married: then the worse thing happenes; he finds out that his lovely bride use to be a male. SHOCK!!! What happens next? Open for discussion.
February 6, 2008 at 4:07 pm
finds out his lovely bride used to be male.. that would never happen.
.. well hopefully.
April 10, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I enjoyed the read. And loved the term ’sexdentity’, though I’m not going to comment on that. Yes. There are a lot of homosexuals who refuse to be classified as such. I do understand how restrictive labels can get and how they can stabilize and/or stereotype the labeled ones. But I personally believe that labeling is very important because it’s the first step to destabilize ‘compulsory heterosexuality’.
Judy abbot: with all due respect, I do not understand why people think gays are craving attention. If you only knew the shit homosexuals have to go through …
April 11, 2008 at 8:19 pm
L’s Brain- loool your blog seems to be craving plenty of attention