Kaleidoscope

A Kuwaiti & Middle Eastern literary blog magazine where writers and thinkers meet to exemplify, vivify, and stylistically liquefy

Reluctance vs. Submission

Posted by Kaleidoscope on May 9, 2007

Author: Disturbed Stranger Copyright © 2007
Blog: No Blog
Location: Kuwait

It was dark. It was quiet. It was cold. It was damp. It was dead. The touch of the cold iron chains against her smooth, sensitive skin sent shots of shivers up and down her spine. Quivers. The rattling of the chains echoed back and forth on the thick 16th century stone walls, other than the crawling and squeaking of unknown varmints…that…was the only sound heard 50 feet underground in the cellar: The Dungeon.

But there was no one there to hear but her. Alone. Sinking in her sorrow. Alone. Her warm tears flushed down her cheeks. But she made no sound, for it insulted her to cry. She was not crying. Was it an involuntary necessity to discharge excess liquid? Perhaps. Suddenly, a lonely overhead light bulb lit. However, it was still dim. Rattling of keys came from behind the massive wooden door. There was a jolt at the huge metal lock. Unlocked. The door opened with a creak, sounds of footsteps were approaching her. Her heart started pounding with each step. She clasped her knees to her chin. The footsteps stopped. She looked up, squinting. There stood, blocking the light, the silhouette of a well-built figure. The dark figure stretched out his arm and murmured, “Drink this.” She was frightened. Very frightened. But confident.
“Take it,” the voice insisted.
“No,” she fired back and turned her head to the side.

“No?” The voice mocked. The figure bent down, supporting his weight on his feet and brought his face close to hers. He lifted the cup closer to her lips. She gave a rejecting sound and turned her face to the other side. The figure gave a grunt and made a sudden grab at her hair, pulling it back, exposing her face and neck.

“Do we have to do this every time?” Her eyes were tearing up. He brought the cup close to her lips, again. She drank.
“Good girl” he whispered and planted a kiss on her wet lips. A tear ran down her cheek.

Submission.

28 Responses to “Reluctance vs. Submission”

  1. the shrink Says:

    Interesting!
    You cleverly set the initial scene and then successfully get away with the finale.
    You led us to submission and the end becomes exclusively individual.

  2. Licentious Jailor Says:

    Stimulating!!
    No sympathy for the protagonist. But I love the power! Excellent piece. Will there be a follow-up?

  3. Ameer, Shaik Says:

    Great narration.

    It is really a great piece of writing. While reading this, you feel that you are watching a real scene of submission.
    Well, “submission” depends and happens in different situations. This piece of writing applies to all sorts of submission.
    And I hope that this particular ’submission’ applies to the following situation:
    A baby girl is really sick and her father tries and succeeds in feeding her the medicine.
    I seek the writer’s comment on this. Thanks.

  4. Raphael Says:

    Nice but not my cup of tea. This image of being trapped in a Dungeon is recurrent in most of the stories that I have read and I have seen it in movies. A damsel in distress loving a man who is keeping her in the worst condition is what I call pathetic. I do not understand why a woman should love a man who does not deserve it, let alone shed tears for him. No wonder women are so vunreable to men they are just weak and do not have the strength to fight for their own safety. I kind of applaud you for your creativity, but still your fiction is too much of a cliche. However, you are giving the impression that we men are very mean and mistreat women so you might have to change that mentality of yours.

  5. Disturbed Stranger Says:

    ‘The Shrink’- Thank you!

    ‘Licentious Jailor’- There shouldn’t be any sympathy for either. As for the follow-up I am not sure yet. Thank you for your comment.

    ‘Ameer, Shaik’- Sorry to disappoint you but this isn’t a scene of a father trying to feed his daughter any medicine :) but if it makes you happy…then sure it is.

    ‘Raphael’- I am sorry you feel that way but my intention was not to portray women as ‘weak’ (hence her reluctance to give in) and men as ‘mean’ (hence his affection for her…and no signs of severe maltreatment) Plus, it’s fiction…It doesn’t really convey any ‘hidden message’. And cliche? again, that’s your opinion and I respect it.

  6. Raphael Says:

    Well Disturbed Stranger I’m happy that you did not take any offence but I was only trying to see your exasperation or should I say anger :P Anyways it is not easy to write a short fiction so well done and I hope that you find a you find a good continuation. Looking forward to it and I mean it so u better be starting with one now :)

  7. Hawk911 Says:

    Nice piece. However I’d like to ask what made you write it?

    Great job. Keep it up!

  8. lonely_q8tia Says:

    Hey Disturbed Stranger! :)

    I know this story is dedicated to me…right? :P Loved it, but how does it end? :P and Raphael lay off my friend… dont criticize good work :) looking forward for the sequel (lol. hope there is one)

  9. The keeper Says:

    disturbed but very sensual. I enjoyed it.

    I’m composing my own narraitive (similar theme) and would love to share ideas with you. Is it possible if I emailed you?

    Thanks.

  10. Vintage Says:

    I’m liking this… looking forward for the follow-up
    hope that the follow up will be sexual and passionate :)

  11. Disturbed Stranger Says:

    ‘Raphael’- No offence taken, and sure…working on that follow-up :)

    ‘Hawk911′- what made me write it? A rather boring phonetics lecture :)

    ‘Lonely_Q8tia’- of course it is :P (and to a good friend Dr.H.M) and the ending? I’ll leave the imagining to you.

    ‘The keeper’- I am glad you enjoyed it and sure; Disturbed_stranger@hotmail.com

    ‘Vintage’- Thanks. Hope you wont be disappointed.

  12. Azrael Says:

    Reminiscent of a kidknapping scene (after the event of course) and how he know’s she is helpless but her strong womanhood will hold out for as long a she can even though it’s quite impossible…….Joan of Arc??? hehe

    Sweet piece Disturbed.

  13. Disturbed Stranger Says:

    ‘Azrael’- why would you say it’s impossible? everything is possible, you’d be surprised.

  14. Azrael Says:

    Ok it’s possible and maybe even plausible that she will come out it alive, but no not everything is possible, we believe everything is possible but I ain’t never seen an elephant fly (by use of it’s own propulsion).

  15. The keeper Says:

    Azrael, “come out of it alive”??

    Come on be more creative, ofcourse she wont die, suffering is inevitable, right Disturbed.S?

    Oh and thank you for your help on my piece Disturbed you’ve been a great help!

    Oh and we are still holding you to that follow-up you promised :)

  16. Azrael Says:

    If someone wants to make someone suffer enough, and they themselves have a creative albeit twisted mind, then they would make the kidnapped person suffer until death.

    Ok not all people would, but you know nothing of the characters only a scene.

  17. Disturbed Stranger Says:

    “Azrael”- Don’t be too sure about that. All I am saying is keep an open mind for miscellaneous possibilities. As for, “I ain’t never seen an elephant fly”…hmmm…clearly you haven’t seen “Dumbo” :) (Plus, bear in mind this is fiction, possibilities are limitless)

    “The Keeper”- Suffering for both characters, yes…and sure, always glad to help.

    As for the notion of ‘death’ try to grasp the metaphorical sense rather than the literal one. Hopefully the eagerly awaited follow-up ;) would help with the “getting to know the characters” Azrael.

  18. Daniel Says:

    I must say I was really enthralled by this short fiction. Keep up the good work. I’m anticipating for the sequel of this story. :)

  19. Azrael Says:

    Ahhhh touche’ Stranger…….point taken.

  20. Qatar Cat Says:

    Ugh what exactly is so great about this??

  21. najlah Says:

    i really like it the short fiction story. but i thought it had to many descriptive details in it. and it didnt focus on the girl alot or the guy. i mean like there not knowing how the girl got in the chamber and why does she refuse to drink the tea. it should be more understanding and less sympathy and descriptive details.

  22. sorti Says:

    i thought the story was quite interesting… i especillay loved the ending :D

  23. Disturbed Stranger Says:

    “Daniel” & “Sorti”- Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the read.

    “Qatar cat”- scat :)

    “Najlah”- “tea”? really? :P hmmm…do I know you? email me if you can.

  24. Qatar Cat Says:

    Make me :P :P :P

  25. Mystique Says:

    DS,
    Mysterious and well written.

    Tantalize,
    Hope you are fine. I miss being around.

  26. Viper Says:

    thrilling!! well written.

  27. naughtycorner07 Says:

    Hi…curious. Did you update your site on WP and are the DisturbedStranger, Or are you a second?

  28. Disturbed_Stranger Says:

    I am the same Disturbed Stranger… the one and only ;)

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>