Time
Posted by Kaleidoscope on September 22, 2006
Written by: Mystique Copyright 2006
It is strange.
How I feel is meticulously and perfectly strange. I am a rebel, I always had so much rave inside me, I let it out in my writings, in my screams, in my tears, or in my glass of champagne.
Today I came across thousands of thoughts: The imperfection of who everyone believes is perfect, the deterioration of what is so called human affection; the malformation of many things around me, and most importantly the sarcasm of an option we did not take in our past.
I came across thousands of thoughts, thousands of clinging words that suffocated my breath.
We sat together, my friend and I, playing the emotional control game, it could never be harder, playing an emotional game of controlling one’s tears from artistically cutting our cheeks.
If we cried, we would have cried: for our friend, for us, for the world around us, for the bitterness of the reality of understanding what life’s modus operandi is all about.
My friend believes: life picks people to experience things randomly, she believes in spirituality, in searching maybe for some new religion.
Both of us were sad for her, we thought maybe with our presence together we could send positive vibes to her, maybe we could show each other how much we loved her, but she wasn’t with us, she was far away, living that decision she took a year ago.
My thoughts were like a storm, and the pain that I was in made it more of a sand storm. I looked at my friend and I told her with my tears blurring my vision about my other dearest friend: “The sarcasm of an option we did not take in our past is painful, she could have chosen it: a new life without that man, a tougher life, a harder life, she was about to leave him, and suddenly she changed her plan. She chose to go back to him, despite the agony, the hurt, the pain.
And after that, life has only given her proof of the existence of malformation.
Why can I see the other option, laughing at me sarcastically? Why didn’t she choose that other option which I thought was best for her?” I asked my friend.
She looked at me and said: “She chose it, and life is all about choices.”
I stood and looked at the piled books on my friend’s shelves, books about: religion, food, wine, cigars, music, business and more.
I picked a book about time, a book about the philosophy behind time.
“I’ll borrow this book” I said.
“No, another time” she answered.
Only time. Yes, it is all about time.
I guess if life weren’t at her side this time, maybe it’d be at another time.
Another time, in another life.
Another time, in another dream.
Another time, with another choice.
September 22, 2006 at 9:08 am
I loved this.
And I relate to it because I have a good friend who fits that exactly, unfortunately.
You’re right: “Another time, another choice.”
But I couldn’t resist being realistic about this i.e. if there is another time, would there be another chance to turn things around?
When someone takes a certain path, it’s sometimes hard to turn around because the initial decision made was a life-changing one.
But we can always learn, and that requires time.
September 23, 2006 at 11:41 am
Dear Eruzlie,
I believe in chances, If she wasn’t lucky this time …maybe another time.
If I didnot change my path after learning that is what I want, then what would be the use of learning.. is that what we call being ‘passive’ and well maybe weak.
Where I come from, I think it is very difficult for us to realize we have taken the wrong path,sometimes it is too late, some times it is hard to get out, sometimes external factors force us to stay and continue…
Thank you for your comment Erzulie.
September 24, 2006 at 9:16 am
Life is a picaresque journey without a true destination, where you infinitely intersect with other people doing the same. There is no true direction or expected outcome; just a journey of conscious growth along the way.
Thanks for enlightening us by giving a small glimpse along yours.
September 25, 2006 at 8:51 am
I think TIME won’t be important if we change it. Our experiences, like mistakes, create TIME.
September 28, 2006 at 2:54 pm
Tantalize,
As always I agree with you, and actually you learn from other people whom you intersect with, if they went through more experiences than yourself.
This topic so reminds me of AlChemist and The Zahir by Paulo Cuelho - Follow your path and your dream–
Wishwashy,
Time is a mean, we live in time, we can go back with our thoughts in time, and actually I think time doesn’t change things, WE change it… I don’t believe in “Time will heal the pain”. I believe in “I will heal it “
October 8, 2006 at 11:07 am
Mystique, is it you that is mentioned in this BBC article?
if so, props on the slow yet starting revolution of words, ideas and thought.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/5413900.stm
and don’t let the hate mail bring you down.
October 8, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Uzi,
Yes it’s me. I met Roger two weeks ago here in Jeddah.
Thanks for your encouraging words.
Cheers
October 8, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Dear Mystique,
What a captivating post! Aside from its evocative power (I think in a way it touches people who may not have had similar experiences, which is quite a thing) the discussion you’ve spurred is also very interesting.
Question: if we learn what it is we truly want, and still do not change our actions, does that really make us weaker or perhaps a little braver in retrospect? After all, who was it that said, be careful of what you wish for, for it may actually come true!
I understand the gist of what you are saying above and overall I am tempted to agree with you. And in light of this I suppose my question is hardly specific to the dilemmas you’ve described so eloquently above and is not intended to be.
But that situation aside I’d like to ask you whether it is fair to oneself to be disheartened (if ever you are) about one’s powerlessness to effect change, be it in others or oneself if, for whatever reason, that powerlessness is somehow self-imposed. Many wise people have offered us the thoughts that, suffering can strengthen as well as rend our ideals and emotions, and sometimes there is value in staying a course even if our desires pull us in a completely different direction. Perhaps I should have avoided that sullied term ’staying the course’ but I hope you know what I mean.
What are your thoughts? Or anyone else’s for that matter?
October 8, 2006 at 4:06 pm
My heart bleeds for you all; denied the basic fun of being young. They cant control you forever- they have lost that.
October 17, 2006 at 12:39 pm
Dear Mystique,
Your words directly positions in mind and leaves an one with a thought…..Yes in this material world things like this are going to happen and some are for sure uncontrollable…..but it always counts how to deal with the situation…..and this is what is life…..life’s greatest question is how to live it……
Hey I had listen your talk on bbc radio channel and found to be very intresting…..we need the thrust to calibrate our so called material society…..otherwise it will be going worse and worse day by day…..
Nice to meet you on the forum and would like to exchange more thoughts and ideas…..
October 24, 2006 at 3:13 am
Nihal,
Your questions are very deep, we humans tend to impose on ourselves ” Selective Mutisim” or maybe ” Selective Sadness or Happiness”.
Once I was a believer in super natural powers, but now I believe nothing is super natural, every thing can be acheived if we want to.
I mean the path to explore our inner selves is a very tough and long path.
If I realize that I need to change, but I am imposing on myself a wave of weakness, an adaption to my surroundings, and unwillingness to change, then that is a problem.
In many cases, people don’t realize what they are going through, they don’t realize their status quo, because mostly there are external factors around them that has blurred their vission, manipulated their heads and of course controlled their behaviour.
humans tend to impose on humans ” Mental Prisons” which to me is the worst.
Dear M,
Thank you for your kind words..
Dear Aliabbas,
Thank you for your comment and for your lovely e-mail, keep on reading..
Cheers
November 12, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Mystique, this is a question for you and only you. I don’t want anyone else’s answers or opinions.
How do you handle the morality of your poems? I mean, in one there is reference to champagne and in another you are talking about not believing.
So I want to ask, since champagne is not allowed in your religion, why promote it in your poetry? Do you just mention it to provoke or do you really enjoy champagne? Does it make you feel guilty or don’t you feel it is wrong?
About disbeleiving, do you also just write about disbelieving in your religion or God(s) just for fun and to provoke? Does it not make you feel guilty ever? If you really do disbelieve in religion, then why?
I am just curious, I am not judging you, and I’m not with the gov. lol. Thanks so much if you can answer.
November 16, 2006 at 2:54 pm
Ibad,
All your questions I’d consider as N/A, what’s beautiful about writing that sometimes you don’t have to explain everything you write. And each person has the choice to taste it according to his/her very own belief and perspective.
If I re-puzzle my writing, it will have no power, or depth into it. I like to let the readers mingle within the words and comprehend it their very own way.
” Je pense, donc je suis”
Thank you for your comment.
February 2, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Time, makes us aware of our limited existence. Time allows change to take place. Time is everlasting-eternity. And hope is nutured by time.