Aseel Wallah Aseel: the Meek in the Land of Plenty
Posted by Kaleidoscope on October 31, 2005
I know of a small dark land of plenty, of mystical mysteries and wonderful wonders. This land is bountiful with riches and beautiful trinkets of both the human and nonliving-thing kind. It is a place where one may rise to the highest echelons of its anally tight social ladder and be king of the world, or one may remain in the seedy dingy Hades of social degradation and lowliness to rot there along with their descendents forever and ever and ever…
What deed must one do to live in this land of plenty? What crime must one commit to be banished from this eternal heaven?
There is no deed that one can do, nor a crime that one can commit; it is rather a rite of passage granted by accident of birth. You wish to enter this land, then you must be born into the right clan, a clan of individuals chosen by the holy gods of the earth, ones who have innate magical powers, a beautiful people in EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. You must be born (drum role, please!), aseel.
What is an aseel, you ask?
An aseel is a descendent of the mystical clan of people who have roamed the earth since the time of Adam and Eve (of course, Adam and Eve are not part of the aseel clan since anthropological accounts place their ancestry to Heaven, not Najd. In fact, Eve tried to ask for an aseela woman’s hand in marriage for Kane, but her family refused because of his criminal record, what with murdering his brother and all!). They are endowed with wisdom, beauty, physical strength, vast knowledge, unrelenting kindness, and mystical leadership skills that place them at leadership positions wherever they roam. They also are masters of disguise, for you do not always see them as leaders, so they can throw the rest of the non-aseels off and, of course, to prevent the evil eye from cursing them. This is why you might see them as merchants in the Gulf countries or as camel fuckers in Rub Al-Khali. Only they have access to the land of plenty, only they are endowed with the honor of calling it home (despite being a minute minority in it), and only they shall inherit the earth.
What, you ask, shall we do to gain this grand stature of being aseel? My child, you cannot enter their realm, for your blood will contaminate their purity and they will lose their endowed charms. They must only marry within themselves, for the slightest drop of non-aseel blood will shed damnation upon their existence forever. They must breed within themselves to maintain the mysteries of the clan for their children, and to produce beautiful little aseels to carry the torch of their purity into generations to come (barring the fact that the children are not born with Down Syndrome because of way too much interfamily copulation!).
The land will be yours…
For everyone knows the meek shall inherit the earth.
October 31, 2005 at 1:14 am
hmmmm. Don’t think I’m interested in the Land of Plenty nor in breeding with one
Nice post though…I loved it.
October 31, 2005 at 7:39 am
Ingenious, witty, astute, right on the money.
October 31, 2005 at 11:03 am
How good it feels for me to be free from the shackles of the Asseel
October 31, 2005 at 2:53 pm
It’s all boils to; PREJUDICY and IGNORANCE
October 31, 2005 at 3:08 pm
Elegance: The Land of Plenty is yours, whether the aseels permit it or not. Racism can be practiced and instilled, but no one can take away your concept of “home”.
Anony: Thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you.
Jewaira:
Blessed be
Those who are free,
For they shall live in glee
Away from the “Asee”(l)
Aya: This is why I wrote this parody. It never ceases to amaze me how much emphasis ppl still place on this shit in our day and age. Girl, I know families that would rather have their daughters marry a traffic cop who is aseel, than a surgeon who is not! Sad, sad, sad.
October 31, 2005 at 5:37 pm
bitter much?
October 31, 2005 at 9:08 pm
Mushi has a point. The beautiful irony is seeing them when they are married and cheating with the very ones they aren’t supposed to marry. And to top it off, some divorce but have their children commit the same cycle over again later in their adult lives: Parallel discrimination. They cause it and are caused by the very same one they exhibit.
November 1, 2005 at 2:27 am
Touché .. That hurt! We had it coming I guess, but I’ll be a good sport and laugh
November 1, 2005 at 1:35 pm
Adam and Eve are not part of the aseel clan since anthropological accounts place their ancestry to Heaven, not Najd
^ cracked me up
note: i think for consistency purposes u should change ‘non-aseel’ to baisery (or beyaasir for plural)
anyway. the notion of ‘aseel’ itself and its definition, to my understandment, varies
in other words, when u ask (perhaps u want to know whether ur aseel or not heh).. u will get many answers, some which may include that ‘u have to trace back ur ancestors to najd’, others may focus on the occupation ur ancestors had (yeah, wtf)
what i really find both sad and funny (much more than ironic) is that even someone who traces back his ancestory to ilrasool - ssalah allah 3laih o aaleh - may even be considered ‘mo-aseel’ in regard to the Najd-Definition
November 1, 2005 at 1:35 pm
This post has been removed by the author.
November 1, 2005 at 1:38 pm
^ that was me, sorry
understandment???????? i meant to say understanding
November 3, 2005 at 4:30 pm
mushmushi, Beautiful piece, but you exaggerate a little.
The Aseel concept only exists when it comes to marriage. It has nothing to do with one’s ability to set up a business or gain power…
Like other ancient societies that practise the caste system, the Aseel phenomena is based on ancient pride in tribal accomplishments and acquired nobility…it does not discriminate; it simply prefers. There is nothing wrong with preferring a tribe over another; to quote the prophet (MBBUHS)
“Tazawaj al mar2a li araba3a: Maluha, Jamaluha, Nasabuha, wa Deenuha”. Even those from non aseel tribes have their own Nasab preferences…
November 4, 2005 at 2:24 am
McArabian and “I”…
It wasn’t a personal attack. Just a post, folks!
Tantalize,
Glad we see eye to eye on this.
Temetwir,
Did you know that the word bayseri is originally Persian- Ba aysaar- which means “without head”? Amusing how Arabs yatnabazoon bil alqaab using non-Arabic words.
Anonymous,
Thank you for your comments. As I said earlier, this is a parody, not an accurate depiction. This is why I say it is a “legend” to symbolize the fact that our people practice customs from the dawn of our forefathrs and perpetuate them still, despite their ludicrousness. And as for the hadith you have quoted, may I remind you that the Quran states “inna khalaqnakom shu3ooban wa qaba-el li ta3arafo, inna a7sanakom 3ind Allah atqakom.” Besides, I say if Prophet Mohammad married a Chirstian courtesan and had a Black slave and a Persian convert as his sa7abah, no Kuwaiti schmuk should be so racially selective in his own life :0)
November 4, 2005 at 5:56 am
Mushmushi,
I do not dispute that the style of writing is good, but the content needs to be revised. I understand it’s meant to be satirical and not really a personal attack - but that does not make it any less offensive for its ignorance and universalized prejudice. I know plenty of aseels who are married to non-aseels, who are kind and respectable, and who don’t believe in tribalism in the least, yet there is no mention of them in the post, laish?
I’m sorry I cannot give a positive review bas this post really disappointed me. I’m not a big fan of many isms: tribalism, classicism, racism, sexism, nepotism, etc. And this post reeks of isms to me.
Anonymous hit the nail on the head, when s/he said that other tribes practice the same ‘preferential’ treatment. I witnessed this with my own eyes on more than one occasion, yet I still refuse to discriminate.
I7na kilna bashir in God’s eyes.
That being said, I don’t want to discourage you from writing or posting your opinions - just understand that offending your audience is probably not the best way to reach them.
yours sorrowfully,
McArabian
November 4, 2005 at 2:38 pm
Dear McArabian,
Thank you for your comments. Remember, this was never an attack on all aseels in the world, nor was it an ode to all open-minded aseels, nor is it the bitter rantings of someone with an inferiority complex due to lack of asal. Frankly, it was a parody on the concept of asal and what makes one aseel or not.
I am a little surprised that someone with seemingly vast experience in different cultures around with the world would look at a satirical critique of our own culture so sensitively. What you deem to be offensive due to its ignorance and universal prejudice was meant to be amusing and eye-opening. The fact that a few bloggers took it seriously meant that I hit a nerve, and for that I do not apologize. If this made you think about some of your prejudices or perhaps reflect upon those prejudices of others, then I have done the right thing by speaking out.
I do regret losing you as a reader, but it is a price I am willing to pay for expressing myself.
Yours sincerely,
Mushmushi
November 4, 2005 at 8:54 pm
Dear Mushmushi,
Frankly, it was a parody on the concept of asal and what makes one aseel or not.
Parody is usually a satire that imitates a literary work in order to ridicule it. I’m not sure what you’re imitating. I think the word you’re looking for here is satire. This is a satirical piece since satire is meant to provoke a reaction and has an aim, it is rarely meant to be funny, and if it was, the humor is usually subtle. But the humor isn’t subtle here, is it? In fact, nothing is subtle about this piece.
Lets look at how you deal with the “concept” of asala and what makes one aseel:
You put the whole piece in the framework of a ‘magical legend’ - but the problem of tribalism and nepotism doesn’t fall under legend, it is a real problem that EVERYONE deals with (including aseels) yet you chose to favor only the aseels in your criticism. You set up an US vs THEM binary that is based on false assumptions, and the exclusion of other guilty parties.
The question you ask is not “what is the concept of being asala?” or “what makes one aseel?” - no, you state it clearly “What is an aseel, you ask?” The question is also asked in the present tense, what is an aseel right here, right now. You’re attacking the person, not the concept.
So lets look at the answers you give:
They also are masters of disguise, for you do not always see them as leaders, so they can throw the rest of the non-aseels off and, of course, to prevent the evil eye from cursing them.
Once again, the US vs THEM binary is brought up. In the above quote, the aseels are given powers of disguise (amongst other things) to ‘blend in’ with the non-aseels - denoting that aseels don’t really belong with non-aseels. It also denotes that this need to ‘blend in’ is done to undermine non-aseels, to ‘throw them off’. Thus, this need for disguise is used for nefarious reasons, not because aseels need to be included in a larger group.
This is why you might see them as merchants in the Gulf countries or as camel fuckers in Rub Al-Khali
Name calling? Really? I’ve already been called a ‘camel fucker’ by non-Arabs at least three times since I’ve been in the States, so to see an Arab (and an educated one at that) calling another Arab ‘camel fucker’ is absolutely disheartening. This is not an attack on a concept, this is attacking a group of people.
This is hate speech, pure and simple. And I condemn hate speech.
Only they have access to the land of plenty - False.
only they are endowed with the honor of calling it home - False.
and only they shall inherit the earth. - False.
In order for a criticism to be taken as a criticism (whether as satire or parody), it has to have an element of truth in it. Keep in mind, the word ‘they’ is now applying to all aseels here, since you have yet to differentiate (and you never do, sadly enough).
For the mystical clan may rule and they may fool and they may discriminate and eliminate, ostracize you, even racially despise you..
But isn’t that what you’re doing in this piece? Discriminating and racially despising? Two wrongs don’t make a right.
I’m not sure why you are surprised by my sensitivety with this piece, I’ve never been coy about my condemnation of intolerance. In trying to show the intolerance of the aseel towards the non-aseels, you have only managed to expose your own intolerance of the aseel, and only the aseel.
It sounds harsh, but this piece was only successful in making me reflect on your own prejudices, and failed miserably in making me think criticially on the concept of ‘asala’.
And no, you haven’t lost me as a reader: I am old enough to know the difference between the person and the writer.
Freedom of expression is well and good, but I admit, hate makes me uncomfortable.
yours respectfully,
McArabian.
November 4, 2005 at 10:28 pm
Dear McArabian,
Frankly, I am quite flattered that my post touched you enough to generate such an eloquent deconstruction of it. Unfortunately, I have neither the time nor the interest in defending a piece that was meant for amusement.
Thank you for your new comments, for they keep attracting readers to a five-day old post, and please keep ‘em coming!
Yours sincerely,
Mushmushi
P.S. Apologies for the use of the term “camel fuckers”. Next time, I shall use “sand niggers” instead.
November 4, 2005 at 11:30 pm
Dear Mushmushi,
I’m sorry, please disregard all of my earlier attempts at constructive criticism and honest feedback. I thought I was dealing with an adult, my bad.
Moving on,
McArabian.
November 5, 2005 at 9:27 am
Mushmushi,
I agree with McArabian on your piece; it definitley made me see your OWN hatred towards aseeleen rather than recognize your message about them. Be advised when a reader sees hate language in a literary piece the crebility is immediately lost as the reader will sense that it is inspired from a bitter inferiority complex.
If you wish to amuse people, like you said, toning your inferiority complex down might do the trick.
And the only reason this piece incited reactions from people like myself, McArabian, and others is because we don’t like hate in our society. And what you just produced was hate literature.
Respectfully,
CD
November 5, 2005 at 12:10 pm
McArabian and Cosmic Delight:
Perceptions as truth vary. Perceive and accept your own type of truth. That’s what this forum is for: engaging debate.
I didn’t view it as hate literature or speech or anything of that sort. Mushmushi portrayed truth through comical prescription - whether satire or parody (and in this case it is simultaneously a parody as well as a satirical piece if you’d like to adapt strict connotations of the words. And if you don’t agree then that only testifies to how language and ideas can easily be misperceived or translated).
That is Mushmushi’s art. Not all readers have to like or agree with what they read.
The two of you are superb writers in your own right. I have looked over your blogs and in one there is a similar style/usage to Mushmushi’s in that it seems like hate literature/critique/manifestos against men. Don’t neglect that everyone is entitled to their art and parodies/satires usually receive equal criticism. THAT IS THE POINT!
If it were outright hate or prejudice or even discrimination against someone or something then it wouldn’t have been allowed to be posted here. Ironically, moreover, some of the commentators are “aseel” and took it lightheartedly.
Thank you for sharing your renditions as well.
November 5, 2005 at 6:35 pm
Mushmushi & McArabin
I think you are both right!
When I first read the piece I found it very harsh towards aseelin, even the picture was unflattering!
I agree with Mcarabian that the piece was very bitter, but I don’t want to presume what influences lay behind it.
However, I can’t deny that a lot of what was mentioned (especially about marriage) is true, even if I wanted to believe otherwise.
On a final note, I came across this article awhile ago, it was written about the aseel concept in KSA, but I think it applies to us in Kuwait as well.
November 6, 2005 at 6:46 am
attacking Asel is motivated by envy PEROID
psychologically, it is known as “Defense Mechanism(s)”.
Jewaira: the obvious observation from reading your blog is that you can not be assela. Nothing personal here.
temetwir: they claim to be descendants of alrsool, but they are not.
Last word, Asel comes with a package of morals, behaviors and values.
Naydi.
November 6, 2005 at 1:31 pm
OK folks… this is getting out of hand! I was trying to move on from this post but y’all keep reeling me in.
McArabian…
The sand nigger comment was obnoxious and for that I apologize. I do not, however, apologize for the post nor the manner in which I wrote it. This blog is about freedom of expression for all contributors and their readers, and we need to learn to read each others’ work objectively and accept that in some instances, we will have to agree to disagree on some issues. If you wish to discuss this issue further, please email me.
Commercialdelight,
My darling dearie, the insinuation that the post is based on an inferiority complex is so simple-minded that… you know what? Mo kafoo ared 3alaych.
“I”.. The Beholder,
Thank you for your comments, and for that excellent article you sent. It could have easily been describing Kuwaiti society. Of course, our situation might be exacerbated by the fact that parliamentarian politics plays on sectorial/ tribal divides. The more we address these issues and poke fun at them, the more we can move away from them in the future, and perhaps create a world for our children where the asal issue is obselete.
Anonymous,
Al-asala al-3arabiya heya asalat al-khulq wa lays al-3urq. Being a najdeya myself (from the Tamimi tribe in Rothat Sdair and Al-Gaseem) I should KNOW!
Oh, and keep my girl Jewaira out of this.
And finally to our editor Eclectic, I apologize for any tension I may have caused on your blog. Next time, I’ll talk about the Arab-Israeli conflict and how the Palestinians are to blame in that. That should get some heads flying
(joking… joking….)
February 7, 2006 at 2:53 am
i know this is a very late comment
its obvious you were against asil thing because its a “racist” thing ,,, i agree with mac arabian … the way you wrote this post is just as racist as the subject itself … b3deen il rasool PBUH said ” tunka7 ilmar2ah ljamaliha , w maliha w NASABIHA w deeniha , fathfar bithat aldeen taribat yadak”
by the way mo kil najdi aseel… w il nijada with mixed bloods like “khawalhum” are not neyadah are kept away too.
w there is a proverb that says ” mn nisa asla gal ana temimi” =)
at the end people care about asil when it comes to marriage only !! w i have a lot of non aseleen friends which i keep near and dear to my heart .
no harm feelings
peace
February 19, 2006 at 3:27 pm
To the ones who congratulated this piece of work: baskom 7ara.
October 15, 2006 at 5:48 pm
LOL!
Nice post
February 2, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Everyone is entitled to his own opinion. A few harsh words, but an excellent piece. Keep writing great work. It is very interesting. For those who may have been offended, write a piece that will rebut this story. If you have something better..share it.
February 3, 2008 at 5:04 am
Hehehehe…
To all of those who read these comments and wondered what a Naydi is, I provide this description. (I’m a Naydi, Fai7awi so you can count on me as a reliable source)
1- A person: he/she is a person like you, so don’t let the pride mislead you into thinking that a Naydi is an outerspace creature.
2- Ji3s: Niyadas are known to be extremly tightfisted. A Kuwaiti saying goes like, “Naydi, mayzig 3ashan mayyo3.” It transilates to “The Naydi would not stool, so he wouldn’t get hungry.”
3- Mish3er: Niyada men are outragously hairy. Yet…
4- Asla3: By 40, they’re guaranteed to be pretty bold.
5- Emdarba7: Short and chubby.
6- Jelff: They lack Etiquette and known to be roudy.
7- From Najd: Yes my dears. Niyadas are from Najd not Germany.
8- Proud: Madree 3ala shno. I really don’t know why.
If you are a proud Naydi or Naydia, please take this comment as a joke from a fellow Naydi or you could take it personally and hold a protest at Jam3iyat Al-Fai7a. I’ll join you.