Desire

Written by: Jewaira

In the total darkness, her body is formless. It is just her easy breathing and the feel of the freshly laundered sheets against her skin. Under the thin cloth of the white linen nightdress, her nipples, the colour of pale raspberries brush against the bed sheets and she kicks them off. It is close tonight and the ceiling fan whirs above her.

She needs him but it is Her turn tonight, the other wife.

She tears off the linen gown and lays naked, rolling her sinuous body around the large bed. Momentarily, in the darkness, she feels exposed.

She remembers Amal. Why do some inane stories always stick in your head? Once Amal said that as she lay uncovered next to her sleeping husband, she thought she saw a man (jinn) stand by her bedside and order her to cover her naked thighs. She told the ladies at the gathering about it the next day, swearing she would always wear underwear when she went to bed.

And her mind skipped to her friend Nadia. When they were just hitting puberty, Nadia’s mother had warned her about the awful results of fondling her small nubile breasts. If you rub your breasts or touch them, they will become large and ugly. For pubescent Nadia, being burdened with those budding appendages was enough. She didn’t want them any larger.

But she knew why Nadia’s mother had said that. She had already discovered the delights of her own body and quite by accident really. She didn’t understand what it was but she felt an inexplicable sense of pleasure as she placed her large white teddy bear between her thighs one night. Yes, it was unintentional but it was that night, on her single bed in the room she shared with her sister that marked the beginning of her sensuality.

She needed him by her now, to satisfy her. Maybe she was just jealous of Her? She consciously pushes away the thought.

Her thoughts drift off remembering Salma who told them matter-of-factly that she slept only in her panties and even walked around the second floor of their home half-naked. At fourteen mind you. Salma was completely uninhibited, until her brother saw her, thus. He was furious.

And perhaps threatened by her sexuality, she mused to herself.

Outside, the cats yowled. It smelled like mating season again, as the male cat scent floated in through her open bedroom window. Damned cats had even sprayed the entrance to her front door.

She would SMS him; tell him how she was feeling now. She made up erotic messages in her mind, mentally composing and editing the words.

What could she say and not sound jealous? Petty?

Absolute torment. Unfulfilled desires.

And soon, with her face buried into the pillow, and her right arm outstretched holding the mobile phone, she drifted off to sleep, her unsatiated body embraced by the bed.

© COPYRIGHT JEWAIRA 2005